For this final audio portrait I took out the beginning where my dad says "it was very tough," I also took out the bit where he talks about his wife and kids because, I felt that it was sort of irrelevant to his connection with my grandpa. Hope you enjoy!
Really great, textural voice! Maybe edit out some of the background noise. It's a very touching pice, its great the way he talks about his father, especially the phone calls ten times a day : )
the recording is a little bit fuzzy, and there is a little mic handling noise.
I think the piece could be a little shorter, to emphasize the specific moments like calling each other all of the time....or when he watches his daughters do something (I'm guessing this is something along like lines of sports/music/dance/school sort of activities).
So unusual to hear these comments from a man. Lovely sentiments. Maybe some other elements are needed to add texture? Could pauses be useful? The background noise IS distracting.
I'm less bothered by background noise/room tone than I am by the sound of microphone handling. There's even a moment where I think I hear somebody tapping on the recording device (or the handle). Also, you may want to consider placing a fade at the end of your piece.
Technical comments aside, you've done a nice job picking out core parts of your father's narrative.
Since this is a serious piece it has no zingers to really reel me back to attention in the middle.I wish there was something going on besides his voice, and not the current background either to really keep things going but that might harm the piece cause its so down to earth and serious. The ending though, i think is wonderful, the things he says and the pauses between make it feel like a heartfelt reminiscence.
I liked the piece, he has a really nice recorded voice. Pay attention to details in editing the volume and mic. noises. He still rambles a bit without furthering any part of the piece, but it is nice to just have him talk, I think you should pick out a story he remembers the most for like a climax.
I like his voice a lot, I think this piece is great as is. If you want, you could maybe add breaks because right now it's just a whole lot of talking. But I'd still like it if you kept it this way.
His voice is amazing Nairi, but i think that there are some bits that are a little redundant. Do a little bit of editing and maybe use some music to highlight what is most important in the piece.
I really loved this piece the first time I heard it and I think you've made some artful edits in the process.
There are a few places where I think the piece drags a little, so maybe you could look into areas where something is repeated and work with the "haiku hatchet".
Really great, textural voice! Maybe edit out some of the background noise. It's a very touching pice, its great the way he talks about his father, especially the phone calls ten times a day : )
ReplyDeletethe voice is really great, but yeah the recording itself is a little noisy. the phone call thing stood out to me too. good work!
ReplyDeleteI really like the raspyness of his voice.
ReplyDeletethe recording is a little bit fuzzy, and there is a little mic handling noise.
I think the piece could be a little shorter, to emphasize the specific moments like calling each other all of the time....or when he watches his daughters do something (I'm guessing this is something along like lines of sports/music/dance/school sort of activities).
So unusual to hear these comments from a man. Lovely sentiments. Maybe some other elements are needed to add texture? Could pauses be useful? The background noise IS distracting.
ReplyDeleteI'm less bothered by background noise/room tone than I am by the sound of microphone handling. There's even a moment where I think I hear somebody tapping on the recording device (or the handle). Also, you may want to consider placing a fade at the end of your piece.
ReplyDeleteTechnical comments aside, you've done a nice job picking out core parts of your father's narrative.
Since this is a serious piece it has no zingers to really reel me back to attention in the middle.I wish there was something going on besides his voice, and not the current background either to really keep things going but that might harm the piece cause its so down to earth and serious. The ending though, i think is wonderful, the things he says and the pauses between make it feel like a heartfelt reminiscence.
ReplyDeleteI liked the piece, he has a really nice recorded voice. Pay attention to details in editing the volume and mic. noises. He still rambles a bit without furthering any part of the piece, but it is nice to just have him talk, I think you should pick out a story he remembers the most for like a climax.
ReplyDeleteI like his voice a lot, I think this piece is great as is. If you want, you could maybe add breaks because right now it's just a whole lot of talking. But I'd still like it if you kept it this way.
ReplyDeleteHis voice is amazing Nairi, but i think that there are some bits that are a little redundant. Do a little bit of editing and maybe use some music to highlight what is most important in the piece.
ReplyDeleteHey Nairi,
ReplyDeleteI really loved this piece the first time I heard it and I think you've made some artful edits in the process.
There are a few places where I think the piece drags a little, so maybe you could look into areas where something is repeated and work with the "haiku hatchet".
Otherwise, good work!